It's hard for me to imagine what someone like me would have been like as a soldier. Aside from the crazy scenario that would have taken place to get me there. With my grandfather serving and then becoming a pacifist he told me to stay away and if anything be on Armed Forces Radio or something. Even being a fan of Robin William's work in Mrs. Doubtfire, I was too young for Good Morning Vietnam and never really connected with it. GI Joe could have been an influence but even though their action figures were cool, I preferred the larger Thundercats, He-Man, and Wrestling figures. Maybe that's what saved me from being dishonorably discharged or court marshaled.
If not a child like attachment to an idea, then what is it that would make anyone want to serve and kill for “their country”?
One thing that I fortunately never had to face was a draft. Although the threat of it looming after 9/11 slowly went away as I got further and further away from trusting my government. My Pap never told me much of why I wanted to stay away from combat but he did tell me one time he spent a couple days in a military jail for punching a superior officer in the face over being insulted by said officer. Well I guess some things run in the family.
I understand the human need for reprisal, for “justice”, but after a few dust ups with fellow civilians and luckily not more than a few scars, I figured out that violence would lead to a violent end for me, even if I was right, and even if I was defending myself. A lesson I learned one night while heading to the bar and getting into a road rage incident where the person I knocked out in the road could have hit their head or had been run over and my life, no matter how peaceful I normally lived it would have been in danger. Luckily the asshole woke up in the hospital with a whole bunch of charges and your boy was cleared of any wrongdoing.
I wish these conflicts abroad could be and end that simply and with as minimal damage as possible but it doesn't feel like the so-called representatives of our nation want that. In fact, it feels like they want more bloodshed, more carnage, and more death for as long as possible and more than likely because it will hide the fact that they stole all of our play money.
The profit of war throughout history has been used to pull countries out of economic depression. My Pap, the pacifist, grew up in such a depression with 2 alcoholics as parents and luckily a sister that cared for him. Without that one person that set them straight, every human is doomed to fall prey to the evils of our nature. My Pap enlisted as young as he could be and it gave him the opportunity to escape poverty and substance abuse. The war trick works for all shapes and sizes.
Eventually though certain folks like my Pap, including a few podcast hosts I know, look at their military service with a sort of regret. That regret is probably based on them not knowing what they really signed up for. Some of the things those folks have seen trump any Banged Up or Rotten.com videos I watched in the past.
On that note, the thrill of seeing what happens when humans get injured or killed has long since left me. If anyone from Twitter is monitoring this stream, please stop with the war porn. Hell, Lindsey Graham and Dan Crenshaw have probably rubbed themselves raw by now. And even though they deserve the worst kind of chaffing, you shouldn't subject the rest of us to the material necessary to do so. Thank you.
Now back to what I was saying before, my dark curiosity that lead me to such things as heavy metal and eventually podcasting is most likely my way of channeling that want or desire that some men have to change the world, but just with a different kind of force. For those of you that have ever been in a circle pit or a wall of death you can understand the energy. Most times people can walk away from those engagements but they take with them a feeling and a connection to that moment with that music.
In podcasting I feel that energy and connection when we go live. It fuels me, it numbs the pain in my back, it gives me a way to assert myself, like in a moshpit, use this negative energy for good, and maybe help others do the same.
I do this to bring people together like music does. Because it always brought me together with the most precious people in my life. Including my Pap who would be rockin' some Perry Como or Johnny Cash or maybe some Dean Martin while getting ready right now. I can still hear him singing along. Thanks for the tip Pap.
Good show today!!!